Swasan ff:An Incomplete Scrapbook (Behind The Mist) Episode 13 Season 2

Swara's POV:
Sanskar was too stubborn. He always neglected my commands. But today he crossed all the limits. In this situation also, he carried me to my room. It was barely 15 days & his wounds weren't recovered fully. However as if he ever listened to me!!

But he had seen the photoframe which i had found from his jacket. He wanted to know the cause behind keeping this photo frame in my room. I narrated the reason behind it & waited for his answer. But his answer made me awestruck. All my trust upon him was a mirage, I thought. Like a chameleon who had the dexterity to change its body colour likewise sanskar was also changing his colours depending upon the situation. However the basic fact couldn't be negated that he was a slayer like the way a chameleon could never be an admirable creature even if it had the colour changing ability, still it would always remain like a tiny mere reptile...

I distanced myself from him & he fell on the ground in a miserable condition. Though I cared for him, still an unknown hatred was compiling against him. My brain & heart were at loggerheads. My heart couldn't believe my hearing as what I had felt for him couldn't go wrong..

Suddenly I asked him,"How can you do that, sanskar? Don't you feel shame while killing your father? People like me are craving for father's love but you are the unfortunate one, who himself has extinguished his life..." At once, I saw change in his facial reactions. His jawbones were tightened. His eye colour was transforming to crimson red like I had awaken a sleeping lion. Now whom I was viewing was no longer sanskar, whom I saved rather an invincible, deadly & ruthless slayer was standing in front of me..

In an outrage, he yelled,"Don't be judgmental swara by knowing the half truth." This man could never change, I made up my mind & said,"Ah! So sanskar! Are you trying to give justification of your killing of your father? What ever justification you may give, sanskar but the truth can never be changed that you are a killer, a bloody murderer.. I am ashamed that I have trusted you... For you, I hate myself now sanskar...." I tried to remain strong but from inside I was ruining....

Sanskar's POV:
She hated me.. Over the top, she hated herself after trusting me.. She reminded me about my stature. I was sanskar maheswari, a bloody slayer.. Whatever I might do, but this past of mine would haunt me till eternity.. But could I bear her hatred for me now? Wait sanskar! Why were you exaggerating this outcome? Wasn't this an obvious reaction? I turned out to be a horrible person & I had no one to blame but myself..

For a few days, she cared for me that didn't mean she belonged to me. It was a reality check sanskar! And I had to accept it. From past 15 days, I was living in a mirage. I thought to leave my past and continue a decent lifestyle. But hope & every desire wouldn't be fulfilled always...

She had every right to bestow her anger upon me but for that she needed to know the truth. After knowing the truth, if she would still hate me, then it was absolutely fine for me as it was nothing new for me. In a heavy tone, I said,"Swara! Just listen to me once. After knowing the truth, if you will hate me then don't worry, I won't force you to trust me ever. And believe me, i won't be a burden on you anymore & you don't have to handle me everyday in front of you.. But please listen to me once..." I pled her & she agreed.

I started narrating my dreadful past & said,"My father Ram prasad bijlani & mother Sujata bijlani fell for each other during their teen age. As you must have known that good looks attract the eyes & personality attracts the heart. My father has an eye candy appearance & he has always provided mom with luxurious & expensive gifts. And in teen age, all these things attract the human beings. Nobody scrutinizes about personality in this period.. The same happens with my mom as well. Both of them have loved each other & married finally."

Cutting my words, swara said,"This is like a fairy tale love story, sanskar.. Everything is just perfect. Then why do you kill your dad... Tell me fast." I just asked her to keep patience & narrated,"Every love story doesn't have a destination swara. The attitude of human being changes frequently sometimes. Initial years of their marriage are running smoothly but after my birth, my dad has given less time to my mom. My mom has even celebrated their anniversary without my dad's presence & with her photograph only. Many nights, my dad hasn't come to home & I have seen sobbing of my mother in the corner of a room..."

My heart was filled with pain & anguish for my mom & a lot more agony for my dad. I couldn't even utter a word & just then breaking the silence, swara asked,"Why has your father behaved like this?" Here came the reality check.. Could swara bear the truth of Mayuri & her real mother Annapurna Suryavansi? She had just stayed 15 days with me still she couldn't bear my truth. Then how could she handle the lie of her real mother? 'No', she would be devastated and I couldn't see her breaking into pieces. I didn't have that much courage to reveal this fact to her. I just couldn't do that..

Swara patted her hand on my shoulder & I said,"Because my dad is having an affair with some other lady. For him, he is already taking the responsibility of my mom & me. So, whatever he is doing outside, mustn't be included in his private life.." Swara widened her mouth like she had heard something illogical thing & asked,"It means your dad is cheating your mom? But who is that another lady? Does she know about your father's marital life??" I didn't know how to handle the situation & it was gradually going out of my hand.

In a fumbling tone, I said,"Yes! He is cheating both of them & I ... I don't know that another lady.. But perhaps she also doesn't know about my dad's marital life...." I didn't have enough confidence to reveal about Mayuri aka shomi suryavansi. Swara already hatred her & was staying in an illusion.. And it was just not possible in my part to break her mist. But shomi had already gone through a lot in her life. Though I couldn't divulge regarding her truth still I didn't want hatred of swara for her. Avoiding all these topics, I said,"One day my mom has come to know about his extramarital affair & about his real personality of an extortionist.. Ya!! My father is an extortionist and the king of drugs, smuggling & racketing world..."

Swara was taken aback & in a painful tone, she said," I am feeling sorry for your mother, sanskar.." In a consoling tone, I said,"After knowing the truth, my mother has complained in police station & my dad is jailed. Due to money & heavy political pressure, he has come out of the jail early.. But his evilness has shot up. He has blamed mom for everything. My mom doesn't want me to be like him. She always inculcates good morals & nice human values in me. And one fine morning my father can't take this anymore. For him, it is all a drama & me and my mother are rubbish humans.. According to him, my mom has betrayed him by exposing his business. He has shot mom in front of me but spared me as he has wanted me as his heir for his illegal business. That bloody man has taken away everything from my life. In a child's eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath but she commands love either way.. But my dad has filled her life with sorrow & wanted me to be like him.. Eventually I have come in contact with captain. He has trained me with sharp shooting skills & my father is my first assassination & I don't feel ashamed for it...."

Swara was motionless. A single word was also not coming out of her mouth. After taking a brief pause, I said,"This is what I am swara! And yes! I am a slayer. I don't feel ashamed about it. As the day I have become slayer, I have killed my human emotions. Look! What my dad has made me. A bigger criminal than him... My mom's biggest fear has also come true...I can't change my past, swara..."

After listening all these things also, she became numb. It meant she could never forgive me. Then I had to leave this place now as I didn't want to be a burden for her. I grabbed her hand & bent my head & said,"Anger is like flowing water; there is nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. Hate is like stagnant water, which becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous & deadly. Be angry upon me but never hate me swara. Please it is a request...."

Her silence was showing her decision. Avoiding her sight, I tried to go out of this place as if I would see her again then I couldn't bear the separation. I walked slowly with much pain both inside & outside my body. As soon as I reached to the outside gate, two strong hands embraced me from behind & I heard her voice,"Please don't go. Don't leave me alone. I have hurt you beyond words. But don't go like this..." And gradually her grips were becoming stronger on my shoulder..


Credit to: Kashis