Swasan ff:An Incomplete Scrapbook (Acceptance) Episode 14 Season 2

Swara's POV:
While he was narrating the dreadful past of his life, I was just comparing the situations of my life with his circumstances.. We both were devoid of fatherly love. When I was unable to love my so called dad, then how would he love his dad who was a killer of his mother? His dad destroyed three innocent lives. That man loved his mother still was having an affair with another Lady. How shameful!! His dad not only destroyed a paradisal family but also ruined the dignity of a woman.

Though sanskar was a criminal but he was undoubtedly different from his dad.. My mind was just blank while thinking about the brutality & harshness man possessed behind the so called insane love! I kept numb & he was leaving me forever as he didn't want to be a burden on me.

As soon as I controlled my emotions, I found him nowhere. Oh god! What had I done?? I hurt him so badly that he was leaving me. No, he couldn't leave me like that. He couldn't make me a culpable in my own eyes. I rushed towards outside & he was going to open the gate. I embraced him from behind just to stop him from proceeding further. I pled him to stop there & luckily without any objection, he stopped there.

In a sorrowful tone, I pled," I am sorry sanskar for doubting you. You can punish me for my mistake but don't curse me by going from here." He was still standing in the same position and I embraced him tightly & said,"Darkness can't drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate can't drive out hate. Only love can do that. How can I hate you after knowing your sufferings? And anger is just an instant reaction before knowing the whole truth, sanskar! How can I loathe you even after knowing that you have felt antipathy through out your life. Every time you are dejected but not anymore! Hate can never molten your compiling obscurity, only love can do that... So, I don't hate you sanskar, in fact I ..........."

Oh gosh!! What was I going to tell him?? He quickly turned & in a choking tone replied,"Really you don't hate me, swara! You don't know how much relieved I am now.. There are always darkness in my life & there are no lights until you have come in my life. You are the light of all lights for me, swara! Nobody has ever tried to rectify me until you have shown your divine grace upon me.."

Thankfully he didn't notice my sayings properly and I leaned my head on his chest to give him solace. However, the truth was that I was getting the real bliss. All shadows of clouds the sun couldn't hide like the moon couldn't stop the oceanic tide; but a hidden star could still be smiling at night's black spell on darkness & beguiling its subduedness.
Likewise in whatever way I might try to subdue my emotions for him but deep inside the corner of my heart, a burning particle of desire was still alive for him which wanted to overthrew his darkness and to engulf him in the beam of radiant illuminations..

Breaking the hug, he said,"Thank you is a mere word in front of you. Whatever you have done with me, I can't repay it through out my life even if I will try. However I have to go now. My presence only leads to your destruction. You are a butterfly & I am a fire. If I will stay here then your life will be extinguished soon.." It meant he had made up his mind to leave me.

How could I stay without him? Why did I feel helpless like someone was taking away my soul from my human torso? Might be apart from him, nobody was there to share my pain, to care for me, to love me.. Wait! Was it love?? Was I deeply in love with him? Oh god! These feelings were so confusing.. But right now, I had to stop him. I couldn't let him go.

Suddenly I said,"Sanskar! Do you know one thing? If you save somebody's life, that life belongs to you. So, technically you belong to me & you aren't going anywhere..." I made a furious face as to exhibit the seriousness of my sayings.

Sanskar's POV:
Finally swara forgave me. But I couldn't afford to push her life into danger. My past would surely hunt me & before that I had to leave her for her safety. But what did she say just now? I belonged to him. Seriously! Did she mean it? Before sometimes I rejected this same thought & now she was giving acceptance to it. Breaking my thoughts, she said,"I know sanskar, you must be worried about your past.. But life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.."

Intelligent girl!! No nicely she could portray my state of mind. Her each & every sayings touched my heart. I couldn't waste my life fearing about my past. I had to move on & might be my mom would be happy & forgive my earlier mistakes because of it. Suddenly from no where it started drizzling & i grabbed her hands to rush inside the room.

Due to running, two stitches were opened up & swara was hell worried after seeing this. In a concerning tone, she was yelling,"Sanskar! I am sorry. It is all because of me. If I haven't doubted on you, then you won't go outside & your stitches will be intact with your body. Oh god! I have to do the bandages again, it will take some more days for your recovery.." & by saying so, she started sobbing..

All I could say was,"Please don't cry swara! Your sadness is giving me more pain than these stitches...." She gave me injection & performed the bandages again. All I was doing was secretly taking glances of her & her concerns towards me. After this work was done, I just asked her casually,"Swara! Can you share your secrets with me?" Cutting my words, she said,"I don't have any secrets, sanskar! Now keep quiet & sleep. You need it..."

I nodded & said," Some old wounds never truly heal but by sharing it, at least your pain will be lessened." By saying so, I closed my eyes & just then i heard her voice,"At least you have seen your mom, sanskar. But I am that unfortunate fellow who hasn't seen her mom in reality. She has never loved me & left me due to the societal fear as when she has conceived me, she isn't married. And about my father, I am still ignorant. Shekar Suryavansi is the husband of my foster mom, Annapurna Suryavansi. He has never loved me like her daughter. He has always tortured me & my childhood has spent in a turmoil..."

She stopped suddenly & her eyes were filled with tears. For sometimes, I thought that my pain was nothing in front of her. This girl had never got parental love & was still living in mirage about her real mom. At least I was sure about my parental identity but swara! She even didn't know that..

However this wasn't the correct time to reveal about Shomi,so, I just wiped out her tears & said,"Truth has many sides, swara! What ever you have learnt about your real mother mayn't be the whole truth..." Cutting my words, in rage, she asked,"What do you want to tell sanskar? Whatever my grandfather has told about that lady shomi suryavansi is false. Do you want to say that? Or do you want to clear her image in front of me? She has left me sanskar. She has never tried to meet me once in my life. I have only seen her photograph. How can a women be so heartless sanskar that she won't come to meet me once. Has she even remembered about me? I guess "NO"...." & she cried like a baby.

I was already aware about the gravity of the situation & this situation wasn't at all in my favour for unveiling the truth. I consoled her & she clasped my hands tightly. Tears were coming before she could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on her face... I didn't wipe them this time as what was the point in wiping them off? Or pretending when the heart could no longer handle the pain? So, I let them fall and its warmth was endorsing me....


Credit to: Kashis