Swasan ff:An Incomplete Scrapbook (Reckless Attitudes) Episode 20 Season 2

Swara's POV:
My head was aching like I had lifted a mountain peak on my head. When I was awakened, I found myself in my room. Oh god! How did I come here? Suddenly all the flash backs about my mom & the conversation with shomi suryavansi reflected on my memory lane. I was filled with agony, misery & all sorts of mental sufferings.

I laughed sarcastically after remembering the irony of my fate. The billionaire girl swara suryavansi, first of all, couldn't inherit her properties. For whom I was studying now, for whose happiness, I always tried to remain outside my home, that lady betrayed me and pierced me like broken glass pieces.

I didn't have any identity. My mothers were exchanged and the identity of my real father was still unknown. But what was my fault in all these happenings? Why did everybody play with my feelings? And ya! Now I understood one of the sayings of shekhar suryavansi,"The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. It comes from friend & loved ones..."

He was actually so true!!! The most important relation of my life betrayed me, my mom had cheated me. Then came the turn of Sanskar! He had also lied to me. Why?? Why sanskar? I wanted to drink water to cool down myself but the jug was empty. I got up from bed to fill up the jug & soon I found my room door was locked from outside.

I knocked hastily & within seconds, sanskar opened the door & asked,"where are you going?" I didn't want to talk with him now otherwise might be I would vent out all my anger upon him, which I didn't want as anger was never without a reason but seldom with a good one.

He had just recovered from the injury & this wasn't a suitable time to be angry upon him as anybody could become angry, that was easy but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time & for the right purpose and in the right way, that wasn't within everybody's power & wasn't easy.

Breaking my thoughts, he tried to snatch the jug from me & said,"You take rest,swara. You need it. I will fill the jug & anything you need, just call me. I will do it for you." This guy was so much unpredictable, like he had taken oath to make things difficult for me. As much as I was trying to avoid him, still he was crossing my path.

With a meager interest, I yelled,"Sanskar! I can do my work. No need to pity on my condition. And you aren't accountable to take care of me. Before meeting you also, I am leading my life alone & even i can continue the same." By saying so, I just moved out of the room. I filled the jug in kitchen & came back to my room. Still he was standing in the same position near my room door. I crossed him as if he didn't exist for me.

Sanskar's POV:
My first encounter with swara after her returning from the hospital wasn't appealing. She was constantly trying to avoid me. She even talked recklessly with me. Though I was aware about her mental condition but it sucked when you were ignored by the person who's attention was the only thing you wanted in the world. She filled the jug & passed by my side while ignoring my presence.

I couldn't take it anymore as spiteful words could hurt your feelings but silence could break your heart. And likewise my heart was now breaking into pieces due to her silence. From behind, I dragged her hands to stop her & asked,"Why are you behaving like a stranger with me? What have I done?"

Before I could say further, she snapped back,"Don't act like an innocent kid,Sanskar! You have lied to me. Have you even remembered about it or not? And don't touch my hand without my permission." I immediately left my grip from her hand. I could easily sense the congealing volcanic magma that was comprising in her body against me.

In a sorrowful face, I replied,"I have remembered my mistake. But that is for your own good only, swara!" She was in no mood to even listen to me & yelled,"That is a lie, sanskar! And telling the truth & making me cry is better than telling a lie & making me smile as I rather prefer to hear a painful truth than a comforting lie.. And you know one thing sanskar! If you will tell a lie once, then all your truths become questionable.."

Now it was crossing beyond my tolerance level. How could she even doubt my credibility for that one lie which I had told to her for her own felicity. I couldn't control my rage & shouted,"Swara! Some things are easier said than done! If I have told you the truth that time, then will you accept it? I guess,'No'. As today also you have accepted the fact due to the reports of blood sample..."

Oops! In anger I had unveiled the fact which I didn't suppose to tell. And as expected, she caught my sayings & asked in curious eyes,"How do you know about the blood samples, Sanskar?" Oh gosh! I had to cover it up with another lie as I couldn't reveal about laksh in these circumstances.

Quickly I replied," I know because the guy who has dropped you here when you have fainted in the hospital, has told me about all the happenings as I have asked him about all the incidents." This time she only nodded to my saying which was unexpected for me. Girls! The most unpredictable creature!

Breaking the silence, I said,"Anger doesn't solve anything. It builds nothing but it can destroy everything. Whatever your mom has done with you, that is for your own security only. I am not justifying her lie but she doesn't want you to hate her. She has given you an respectable life which people crave for. And remember one thing swara! Forgive people in your life, even those who aren't sorry for their actions as holding on to anger only hurts you, not them...." By saying so, I left her room as I didn't want to face her further as I was also sad due to her behaviour.

Swara's POV:
Genuinely I had hurt him beyond expectation. Once I had already doubted him for his father's assassination and now I had repeated the same mistake. I again doubted him. He was absolutely right. I wouldn't trust him without proofs even if he had admitted the fact earlier.

And yes! Honestly, saying was easier than doing. In that situation, how could he even justify this fact that Annapurna was my real mom. I felt frustrated for my own actions. I didn't have much relations to lose but due to my own actions, I was losing the very relevant relationship in my life, who was none other than Sanskar.

I had behaved rashly with him & he must had pissed off with me due to this. I wanted to apologize him but by thinking about this angry face I stopped. I was also unsure about confronting him. What would I tell him? & what apology would I ask to him for repeating the same mistake again and again?? All these thoughts ceased me to move towards his room.

The whole day was passed in utter silence in between us. Neither of us talked with each other. When the darkness was prevailing, I just wanted to pass out. I was born to face the hatred. Sometimes my near & dear ones pushed me towards the hell of hatred but today I hated myself due to my intolerable attitude with sanskar.

I couldn't bear this silence in between us & also every minute my mom's betrayal was agitating me. I wanted to indulge in alcohol. So, I didn't need to bear this pain anymore. However I couldn't drink in front of him as because of him only I left drinking. If he would again hate me for my drinking, then I couldn't bear the pain as I was deeply in love with him.. Ya! Undoubtedly I was feeling a strong attractive pull towards him. I decided to go to the pub & to pass out there only. So that sanskar would never come to know about it.

Sanskar's POV:
For the first time, we both were behaving like strangers even after staying in the same house. The whole day I didn't talk with her as still I was doubtful about my convincing to her. If she had understood me properly or not, I didn't know. While I was thinking about all these things, I heard some noise coming from her room.

I opened my room door & rushed towards her room. Her room was a total mess. However she was looking mesmerizing. Her spellbound beauty was captivating me like someone had spelled some magical chants on me so that I couldn't move an inch & was staring her intensely. She was wearing a party dress & honestly if looks would start killing people then surely I was going to die today.

Breaking my gaze, she told in a soft tone,"I am going to a party. You don't wait for my arrival & sleep early." I wanted to stop her & honestly I didn't know why & where she was going. But her health condition was also not good. So, finally I asked,"Is it important to attend the party?" She turned her face towards me & asked,"Are you preventing me from going to a party?"

I was speechless. I didn't know; what would I tell her now? I was genuinely worried for her health but if she would compare my care with sympathy then I couldn't bear it again. So, indifferently I told,"No! No! You can go.." She again reminded me to sleep early & didn't wait for her. But I couldn't let her go alone to the party. What if she would faint again due to stress! I would definitely accompany with her but not openly rather secretively to take care of her..


Credit to: Kashis