Swasan A path hate to love ep36

A strong layer of joy comes into her heart, while she already knows this thing that he's only her, but it's most happiest thing that you hear this words from your beloved. Many of us, know everything about our partner, but we want to hear again and again with same words.. Why? Because this is the most precious words of our life, maybe it'll become old, but same as gold, we can renew it whenever we want.
But on the other hand, this isn't a bed of roses, we've to burn ourselves for immortality of our love and burning is most difficult task in this world. It's not seem like which we often watch in movies and read in romantic novels, it's much higher thing of that. This is a reason, few people successfully carry their love.
She gasps and hugs him back, Sanskar notices her affection but he is only getting her affection just as a possessiveness of child.
Sanskar:" If you allow me, then may I back to my work"
Swara who closes her eyes peacefully, nods in no:" Lets sleep for sometime" it was time of sun setting, there is artificial light in room but she can feel the twilight of sun set. She looks her beloved who's same like sun but she prays in her heart that she'll only see his rise, never fall of this sun. But she doesn't know, sun is neither set nor rise.
Sanskar:" You know, I can't sleep and second thing is that this is not a time of sleeping"
Swara:" I know.. But we didn't sleep last night and because of bonfire, we wouldn't sleep tonight also.. So I wanna take a nap before going"
Sanskar:" There's hardly few time left, but its ok! You can take a nap, I'm here"
Swara tightens her grip:" Dont go please"
Sanskar smiles softly:" I'll not going anywhere... Now just take a nap, otherwise we've to leave for our night time picnic"
She smiles on his words and closes her eyes peacefully.
****************
After an hour, they leaved the palace and now they all are arranging their tents for staying.
Girls were wearing loose top and jeans. Only Swara is wearing long flawy skirt. She's wearing anklets which creating sweet voice in the silence of forest. While both boys are wearing t-shirt and jeans.
After completion of tents, they fired woods, because of saving time, they purchased woods instead of taking them from jungle.
They set bonfire and sit beside it. The setting is like that one side of bonfire, Ragini is sitting with Shanaya and Laksh is sitting beside them. Swara and Sanskar sit opposite side of them.
Laksh plays music and now he's dancing with Shanaya. Ragini doesn't know dancing, Swara knows but she doesn't join them and our hero lefts this type of things, 10 years ago of his life.
Swara and Ragini are clapping to see their dance. Sanskar looks her face which glows in the light of fire, she has a brownish complexion like wood and light of fire turns her complexion into golden.
She's not beautiful more than Shanaya.. He has seen many beautiful faces in his life. But not her beauty, something else makes her different from every girl whom he met in his life.
She was wearing white shirt and blue long skirt which suggested by him. Her hairs are open, she makes twist from one side, other side of her long lock is touching her face again and again. She claps and during clapping,  she many time, tucks them behind her ears but because of naughtiness of wind, it again frees and starts annoying her.
He slowly touches her lock, she looks him because of his touch. She again finds the same heat in his eyes which burns like furnace in the light of bonfire.
He tucks her lock behind her ear and whispers in her ears:" You start clapping, I take this duty to handle your hairs"
A red color touches her face which glows like the scarlet of sun in the fire's light.
She slowly nods and concentrates again on their dance.
Laksh comes towards them:" Come on Bhai!.. One move"
Sanskar raises his hands:" Pardon me for this thing lucky!"
Shanaya:" Sanskar is boring... Come on Swara! Join us"
She holds her hands and softly drags towards their point of dance.
Ragini comes to him:" Now we're in same category jiju"
Sanskar:" Hmm.." He is starring her who's matching the footsteps of Laksh and Shanaya. She's dancing slowly just like people dances on wedding occasion, just for expressing their happiness, not in a professional way.
A question again arises into his mind while starring her:' What's her position in his life"
But he's still find emptiness after asking  this question to himself. Because he doesn't believe in love, if he believes in love, he obviously marries Shanaya, not Swara. He only wants an obedient, pities girl whom he can imprisoned her and do what he wants. He knows, it cruelty but in his point of view, nothing is bad if you're clear.
He didn't trap her in a love type feeling and married her. He simply made a deal with her and got her. There's nothing like love between them and offcourse! He can'ut love someone.
He feels a small layer of pain in his head. It was commonly happen with him, when he continuously controls himself from many nights. It's very hard to make distance with his addiction, specially when she was in hus arms and he's just controlling himself.
That's why he often avoids her, specially in nights, it was also night but because of everyone, his addiction isn't raising but if he was with swara only, he thinks that it was his last night to control himself. And how much he controls himself, whenever he gets his addiction, he wants more and more.
He remembers the time, when he was get know about his addiction.
It was two months later when he got his first step of dream hotel. From starting, he had the problem of headache but because of his busy schedule, he didn't noticed of this.
But he clearly observed that whenever he saw women, he felt disturbances in his heart, he just wanted to hold her and quenched his thirst. From starting, he thought that it was only because he recently leaved the lusted life, after sometime, he'll become normal.
But his condition became bad to worst day by day. He had a problem of asthma from his birth but it was minor. But because of stress of controlling his need, he often used inhaler.
His nights became worst and restless with the passage of time, specially whenever he was free. So he started to work in night too but he was human being, how much he controls but he didn't want any women in his life because he was disgusted by them who always want to allure him because of only two things. In between, he got one to two girls for one night stand and amazingly! He got relaxing sleep that night.
But he was establishing his hotel, he had not so much money to waste on women. So he decided to control but after many days of controlling himself, he got a fit first time and it was continuously gotten by him every night.
That time, he went to Dr because he was still unaware of his problem, his restlessness,  his stress and cause of his fits and his headache. It was very difficult to concentrate on work but he was doing work well, he was succeed to got the reputation of his hotel in market and gave it the name of "Morning Star"
He went to Dr and consulted to him. He was shocked the words of doctor. Firstly he asked many questions from him.
Dr:" Mr Maheshwari! Do you have any relationship with woman?"
Sanskar:" No.."
Dr:" Were you in the relationship with any women in past days?"
Sanskar:" Hmm.. I was"
Dr:" How much time, you're living bachelor life?"
Sanskar smiled bitterly to listen his question but answered calmly because in his hard days, he learned to become calm and ruled over his emotions:" It was almost four to five months"
Dr was continuously writing during investigation. At the end, he handed over him a list of medicine and says:" Look Mr Maheshwari! I recommended you some medicines, but it's only just like sleeping pills to give you artificial sleep and rest but it's not permanent solution for your problem.."
Sanskar:" Then what's the permanent solution?"
Dr looked into his eyes and said calmly:" Are you single.. I mean to say, are you married or not?"
This question awaked much pain in his heart, how could he say to Dr that he was married religiously, but not officially. And it was mockery of destiny that now his wife is wife of other man without taking divorce from him.
Sanskar drowned in a thought because in his point of view, Meera was still his wife and in the eyes world, she was wife of Ram Malhotra.
Sanskar:" I'm alone nowadays" he said truth.
Doctor got something fishy from his ambiguous answer and said:" Look Mr Maheshwari! If you're married, then recover the issues with your wife. If you're not then you should marry because your problem, only woman can solve"
Sanskar sighed:" Is there any other solution except marriage?"
Dr:" Only woman but these medicines give you some relief but with passage of time, it'll not effect on you and makes your weak inside from day by day and even it'll effect on your mental health.. You can also consult with psychologist but as I know.. He will also give you temporary solution, so it's better you get marry or involve into any relationship with woman"
Sanskar feels touch on his shoulder, so he comes out from his memory, it is Ragini who's shaking his shoulder:" Where have you gone jiju? I know Swara is looking beautiful tonight, but she's your wife and you've to stare her your whole life"
He realizes that he was starring Swara during memorizing his past.
They're still making fun and he can easily see a bright smile on her face.
Ragini:" Swara is so lucky to have you"
Sanskar gasps and looks the innocent face of her:" And am I not lucky to have her?"
Ragini thinks for a while:" Actually! You're more lucky than her.. Don't think like that I'm her sister, so I'm praising her but she's really an ideal girl that anyone can be proud to have her"
He smiles on her sentence and diverts his  concentration towards her.
She continues:" You know jiju.. She's very strong girl and I never ever see her crying except when papa got minor heart attack because of financial problem"
A guilty appears in his throat to listen it but he says nothing.
Ragini:" But at next week, you brought her proposal and solved all problem, you know what I know she married you because of papa and us"
He boggles to listen her words because he takes her as foolish girl but she's much sensible girl.
Sanskar:" Then why did you ask that love story part from us?
Ragini:" Because I wanted to weigh my doubt because I know if she has any affair with you, she must told me and she had dream of simple man of his life, with a big family.. What we say.. Yes! I girl who made for family, she loved simple life and you were not her ideal, so I know that she didn't marry you for love sake"
Sanskar feels bit pain to listen her words but he jerks his head.
Ragini:" She had been working from her schooling days, she worked with papa in his shop and also gave tuition in her part time, we could not afford fees of our college, but just because of my study, she struggled... I was afraid that she'll marry in middle class family and she have to work in that  house too, but she was mad, she wanted a hardworking husband in small house, just like papa... But I'm happy she married you, she deserved a better life style instead of working everytime..." She pauses and looks him. :" Is this bad thing jiju if we want better life or money? Am I greedy to say that?"
Sanskar:" No Ragini! Many people consider that type of person greedy who wants money, but this is basic thing of our life, so it's not bad dear! If you want get it"
Ragini becomes happy:" Jiju! You're great! Whenever I say to these things to swara, she always gives me a lecture"
Sanskar smiles and looks Swara again who is arguing with Shanaya and Laksh on songs .
Ragini also follows his eyes:" She's so happy with you.. From starting days, I was afraid that she was making relationship on compromise but it's you who changed her heart"
Sanskar looks her in amazed:" I didn't do anything, she's happy because she's optimist girl"
Ragini:" Yes! She's.. She always takes out way of her happiness, she's strong and confident... I wish I can be like her"
Sanskar:" Every person has his own individuality.. Don't follow her, be who you're!"
Ragini nods:" Whatever! But I want to see her happy... Jiju! Will you make a promise to me" she extends her hand towards him.
Sanskar looks him questionably.
Ragini:" Promise me, you'll always keep her happy" she is saying with full of hope and first time Sanskar looks someone with bit fear because he can't make that promise to her.
He's a man if words, if he make promise, he has to act on it and he knows, she's not happy with him. So giving her happiness, he has to leave her which he can't bear. He looks smiling face of Swara and takes a glance of hopeful face of Ragini. In his life, he first time stuck in that problem in which he gets confuse what to choose and how to choose.