Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Yaaram Ep4

Posted by Saba Shiekh on January 20, 2016 with 8 comments
It was also happened in those days that her ex-fiance was married to her cousin Maira. Moreover, that boy got promotion and company allotted them house and an one-month Europe tour as a wedding gift.
One day, Maira called her:" I told to Afrasayab that you are saved by marrying me otherwise if you have married Amraha then... Well... Leave this... By the way he'll be bankrupt and more than that... I don't know what will happen with him..."
She silently heard the fable of Afrasayab. At the end Maira said:" You also say something"
She disconnected the call, it was enough answer for her.
She was going to college regularly, but she sometimes talked to Dada. She was angry with him. Dadi and amma were not saying anything bad to her now. If something burned, dadi got sprain, Hamad met accident by motorcycle or Baba got loss in business; no one said anything to her. Because now this work had taken by outsiders with excitement.  Amraha felt that there was a jungle of darkness, in which she was wandering.  But she couldn't find any ray of light. She thought that people would forget everything but won't forget about her. She prayed that any kind of wind might be blown in the atmosphere which erased her name from the minds of people. And with that people would forget the incidents which was joint with her personality. If some guests came to home, she went to library. But she couldn't stay there after evening. Then she was wandering with Dada but didn't talk with him. Dada knew very well that she was afraid to face people. Specially from their relatives. And this fear was given by those people.
She was disappeared in the functions of relatives but she was still famous among them. She was the best topic for discussion and making jokes. She was player of the game of ladder and snake who was bitten by snake every time and she got the lower position... Everytime..
Jealous girls of relatives wanted to see the beautiful girl like Amraha in the lower position. But why only jealous girl? Who was not there; Who didn't want first number for themselves and last for others?
But human is one, no matter who praises himself but also covers the vices of others.
But this type of human isn't found in the crowd of people.
********************
She has become disgusting, sad and bitter by her environment and herself day by day. Doesn't know, it is any plan of destiny or any emphasis of nature that she's trying fast to derive out from this environment. In this one and half year, she applied in hundreds of foreign universities. Fifty percent, sixty, seventy percent, she didn't let go any type of scholarship. Dada tried his best to convince Baba to give some lacs for the study of daughter. But Baba had only one mantra:" Who spend lacs on the study?"
The student society of Manchester university was giving five scholarship from their personal fund. She also rejected by them. In this two years, she got these words almost two hundred times:" Sorry! You're a good student, but we can't help... Best of luck"  then she leaved counting of emails. But it's clear that there's no limit of refusal and failure but loser always has limit to tolerate her failure.
Refusal from Manchester university also gave her tears. And she sent them last email in rage:" I know I'm unfortunate, I'll die with fire...so what? You all go to hell and your offer of scholarship also go to hell"
Next day, she received the email in which she got the long lecture about the people who faced many problems in their lives and they got the success in their worst conditions. Mohammed Ali Clay and Charlie Chaplin were on top of the list. Then they also told her that she got B-grade in matric, and F.Sc. With only A grade; in this situation, if she would do graduation with A+ grade, it would not make any difference. Because in this situation it would be unfair with those who had marvellous academic results; if they gave scholarship to her.
"huh! The supporter of justice" she said.
In last time, there was a short sentence:" By the way, we're thinking maybe we will do something for you, give some time to us"
She gave time to them, what type of object she was to give them time. In these days, her BA result was also out. But board association maybe forbid A+ grade on her. As much as she put effort but they never gave her A-plus. She stayed angry but what she could do? She wrote plus sign (+) on her degree and mailed it to Manchester university. And her cleverness worked this time. After one month of thinking, they replied to her:" We're giving you 70% scholarship. You've to repay 30% during two years degree of university. And remaining 50% you've to within coming 5 years. Your food and residency; you've to handle all these. We only provide these facilities in temporary basis.
Then the words of "unfortunate and I'll die" worked there. Pakistanis like brutish shivered with fear and offered her scholarship.
She went silently with dada to make passport. Dada took out some of his money and some borrowed from his friends for paying remaining 30% of fees.
Now she was chirping with dada and pampered by him. She forget about her anger of years with dada. Again they're become friends. She was like that she was going forever and dada was pampering her that after two years, when she'll come, she must have forgotten about crying, dying and beating etc.
She went with dada to upper and lower class hotels and glanced her surroundings like that she was saying goodbye to everything forever. Dada observed her style and says:" Amraha! You're going for study... Only for study... Be remember that I'm giving you freedom for study, not for the other decision. Still me and your Baba has the authority for taking decision for you"
"ok!" She nodded but she thought that she would study and would do job there and didn't know, dada started thinking. She didn't have any interest in boys and he could write on stamp papar about the same.
Both were ridden in the white horse-cart which was running on road of Mall. She noticed today that how much everything was beautiful and perfect. Sitting with dada and looking at the lights of surrounding, she was eating khoya qulfi(a kind of ice cream lolly) and putting her hands below to qulfi because whenever qulfi fell down on floor, it had messed completely on the floor. And this shock was more than anything. And this shock would not decrease after eating 5 to 6 qulfies. We only remembered that fallen qulfi..
Plain, bright and historical road of Lahore, which made melody by the hoofs of horse which was running on the Maal Road. They came back to home like happy kids who spend their three days Eid(Islamic festival) by collecting the Eidi(sum of amount which was given by elders to youngers on the occasion of Eid). And they didn't go outside of the home if they missed the Eidi of someone. And at the fourth day of Eid, those kids went outside and what the style of their coming outside would be! Marvellous....!
*********************
"Amraha is going after two days" dada announced at the dinning table.
"where?" Dadi asked, she thought that they often went to Baluchistan, might be this time she would go to Peshawar with dada.
Dada:" Manchester"
Everyone:" What's this?"
Dada thought that it would burst like bomb but it even didn't create the noise of cracker. We should take evil eye of their knowledge of geography. They didn't even know that the Manchester was the name of city and this city was located on England.
"is there any proposal come from there?" Dada got speechless after this question.
" your daughter is much talented that mayer of Manchester has asked her to come and study in our university" dada said in sarcastic voice.
"Amaraha is going abroad for study, her flight is after two days"
Now it made difference, Amma, Baba, dadi saw them with wonder.
" where do you get money?" Baba said with anger.
" she's going free, all expenses are carried by university" dada said.
Baba:" Baba! Why are you fooling me? Nowadays who do anything in free? Do you sale your plot? I have kept it for the marriage of Amraha and Daniya"
Dada tried to sale plot but it was located on depopulated place, so he couldn't sell it.
" plot is still there, you can go and check it"
Dadi:" She's not going anywhere, I have seen alliance for her, she'll get marry, it's enough"
"alliance...?" Amraha saw dadi and got up to go to her room. She was packing her bag quickly and also consoling herself that:" No one will stop me, I'll go from there.. I must go..."
Dadi, Amma, baba were arguing, now which type of alliance had come in this bad time she prayed that groom's family will know about incidents of her misfortune. Her family would cal her that how much this girl was unfortunate... Unlucky and black tongue.. Evil eyed girl. And moreover, someone might tell them about the incidents which related to her birth date. What was happened on Tuesday and 2nd of month?
Was this any time for alliance? Her fingers were pained by typing emails and filling the form of scholarships and now dadi and amma were preparing for marriage.
She was consoling herself and saying like that:" I'll go... I'll must go day after tomorrow.. Nothing will happen... Dada will do everything fine.."  she packed her luggage and kept safely her passport that whether baba would burn it in rage.
Night was passing and she was hearing the noise from outside. After hiding the passport, she laid by lean with the door of her room. She got the nap bur she still murmured:" I'll go... I'm going.."
Dada opened the door and listened ups and down of her murmuring.
He put pillow below her head. She was so happy first time at that night. She was so much happy that without any mattress, she slept on the floor. Dada was sad about her. He wished that if this environment didn't give any pain to her then she might have slept every night peacefully. If she got happiness in her home.... Then she didn't sob to make her eyes red and didn't afraid from them. Dada sat with her and stared her.. That parrot which has soul of parents, name children... And for him, that parrot is Amraha.
This type of love, he didn't have for her father, even other children of him. Once Amraha asked him in anger:" Why don't you become like others...why do you love me so much?"
He couldn't answer that question. Destiny is always generous to human beings, even if all world is against her still somebody love that person from heart and soul. That love may be any in form of human, any bird, animal or any other creature.Always purposeless hatred produces unconditional love. As much as she got the hatred of everyone, she got the love of him.
God never forgets that if his devotee got so many quills in her life then god must give the fresh rose to her. Then his devotee will forgive about the pain of quills after getting that rose. Dada didn't know the secret of his love, only God knew about it and who knew very well then he must do very well.
Baba gave 10,000 rupees to her for shopping while dadi and amma were angry with her. She did shopping with dada. Daniya helped her for packing. Ali and Hammad looked at her with sorrow because she was going so far from them.
Dada also was controlling tears from his eyes:" She's going for study, not eloping... Parents are not getting happy... At least you both say goodbye to her with happiness... Whether plan will crush and she'll get lost"
Dada gave this lecture to Amma and dadi and both forgot about their anger. And said goodbye to her with prayers.
And she leaved for Manchester which would be waiting for her.
City of lessons
City of independence
And....
City of beloved (Yaaram).

Yaaram Ep3

Posted by Saba Shiekh on January 20, 2016 with 4 comments
In those days, it was happened that Baba's hand was burned and Dadi cursed her. She also answered to her then Baba slapped her with his burn hand. She hit her head on wall and it was bleeding. She felt pain in her head but she only cried due to Baba's slap by forgetting her head pain and blood from first part of a day to last part of night.  Then she put her some clothes in school bag, and went from her home. She walked... Walked.... Crossed the main road of home. She reached at main road then crossed it also.
She was just walked and crossed every road... Even she didn't afraid from the dirty dogs of footpath. Her eyes were filled with tears and hung bag on her shoulder. She walked like that she was (god forbid) alone in this world.
After reaching far from home, she didn't understand, where to go then she started crying after sitting on the corner of footpath.
" you made me tired Amraha!" Dada also sat with her, he had bottle of water. He took some water and also made her drink.
"I have left that house" she shouted after drinking water.
Dada:" You've to leave that home one day, because it isn't your home my child"
"why don't you go Dubai? Now I've done my matriculation"
Dada got confused:" I'm an old, weak, sick person, think to yourself that how can I go to outside the country, specially for the earning purpose... I'm so old... I also become deaf now"
Amraha:" Then why do you make promise?"
Dada stayed silent for a long time.. She was so young and especially possessed painful heart.. Now he could not console her by lies:" Why won't you go there Amraha?"
" where?" She put off her school bag.
" Dubai, America, Australia, canada, France" dada said.
"I..? And America, France?" She cried more vigorously that Dada reminded joke at her and started joking with her.
" yes! Grand daughter of Mirza Kamal,has topped in F.Sc. this year, she has got scholarship... It has two days, since she has gone to Canada... Amraha! You also top in F.Sc."
Amraha:"me.....?"
Dada:"yes Amaraha my child! Do top and go from here... Grand daughter of Mirza Kamal will come after seven years, maybe she'll not come here,she has to do three years of services in Canada also... It becomes 10 years.. Ten years and in Canada? Www here people after spending 20 to 25 lacs and she has gone in free... Think Amraha! How many benefits are of study? If you prove yourself, then this world will welcome you" in that last part of night, Dada was not less than Aristotle who taught Alexander about the conquer of conqueror.
And then Alexander the great was also conqueror.
And she took admission in college by her heart. Studied day and night. Only study..  She prepared herself to do top. She had belief like that she told every class fellow and friend that she will go Canada and spend ten years there..
" I'll go Canada, I'll spend ten years there"
" I'll become doctor and enjoy my life"
" yes! I already have this plan to spend my life in any European country"
"oh! This two years will pass fast and I'll go from here"
She was so happy in those two years. She got the knowledge of Canada as much that Canadian didn't know about themselves. Dada gave her those books which had the word of "Canada".
Then result was out.. But alas! She didn't get A-plus even. She ruined herself by crying. Dada avoided eye contact with her and silently applied scholarship also but where they have lots of double A then who will ask to simple A grade. In those days, dada got know that how many talented people this country had created.
Wherever, he submitted her form, he felt happiness to see crowd there but also felt sorry of his Amraha.
He understood that she could not get scholarship and it was also happened that she got three official letters of rejection but could not get admission form.
No one got the news in family that what was happening between Dada and Amraha. Why Amraha felt sick? Why was she not talking to dada? Why Amraha wasn't saying dada ji dada ji all time?
And she also got the call of class fellows and friends:" When will you going to Canada? Look! Must meet us before going"
"you've courage that you're going so far... I feel die to think about it"
She said with that belief in those two years that all her class fellows had believed that she will go. They didn't taunt on her but Amraha took it as taunt on herself.
******.   *******      ********
Baba fixed her engagement, she also agreed that if she could not  go to Canada then at least she could go to second house. After six months, her alliance was broken. It was cleared that they got to know about the incidents which related to her birth. Baba got angry but what could he do? He got angry on Amma and dadi that why had they spread this types of talks in society that her alliance was broken now.
Amma and dadi repented but it was late. .
Then again she got alliance second time,Baba gave the date of marriage immediately to groom's family without any custom of engagement or nikah. But 15 days before the time of marriage, that day when she was checking her bridal dress, she got the news of being widow of young sister of groom. That story was finished.
That time, she listened so many worst words that she attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills of dadi.
After a week, once she arrived home after being well, she wanted to take pills again and wanted to die.Amma and dadi will cry in the corners of house:" Alas! Our young daughter has passed away" they will cry vigorously. Dada will leave the house forever. And Baba and dadi will search dada like crazy people and dada will come to her graveyard at night.
She felt so much calmness after imagining of her death that everyone will cry who had made her cry.
But she only imagined about it but couldn't find courage to do that act of suicide again.
Dada tried to talk with her and convince to her.
A young girl tried to kill herself and this was happened due to that foolish talks. If she couldn't die by sleeping pills, she would must die by nervous breakdown.
Dada:" I don't have much money to send you abroad for study, marriage is also not going to happen of yours. I have talked to your father but he has made joke of it that it's better to make gold on your name instead of sending you abroad for study, Amraha! I'm disgusted by the people who do long prayer in sacred nights and involve in many types of sins. Lie, envy, dishonesty, backbiting... We don't do endeavour to spare ourselves from these bad deeds and we do ablution to stand for praying. Your ex-mother in law who has broken the alliance, she attends every religious occasion... She does debates on religious topics... I have also satisfied of this alliance because of this reason ... But she is like just a good-colored fruit which is rotten one from inside.... Our hypocrisy is eating our peace of environment like termite. We consider ourselves on right path, but we are going on wrong path by reverse feet.
Amraha! Part of my heart! Never attempt suicide again otherwise I'll also kill myself... Be responsible and study well... We must find any path.
Dada visited her 15 days tour of Baluchistan and convinced her to take admission in college.  But her life became more bitter that her two engagements were broken and no one was ready to take her hand in family. Mamu asked the hand of Daniya for her elder son.
Amma and dadi asked for Amraha by themselves but he forced only for Daniya.
"they're so coward that none of us is ready to take risk" she said bitterly to dada.
Dada replied:" A one who is far from god, they're coward like the same",
Amraha:" I'm not far from god, then why it's happening to me?"
Dada:"sometimes, destiny hits pebbles to sleeping persons because they will awake and proceed to achieve their aims of life"