"I know Swara you're hurt! But I can't encourage you to love me because I'm empty, I'm empty for this emotion and I don't want to snatch this smile of your face which I already snatched half away through my sins but not now at least. You don't know yourself Swara! Loving me as the same you put yourself in hell with your own and I don't let you do it" he thinks and takes his sleeping pills without water.
Darkness again comes inside their room because enlightened bodies are separate now.
He looks the back of her and leans down beside her.
He can listen the rhythm of her slow breath in the room, she gets asleep but nowadays sleeping pills don't effect on him.
He thought about the words of doctor.
"Mr. Maheshwari! This is long time you have been addicted, and the side effect of sleeping pills have effected your potential energy and health, it also decreased your will power which is so much necessary for getting rid of your addiction... You're loosing your patience day by day and it's almost impossible to get you back in normal condition, it's better to compromise with your nature.."
She changes her side and now her face is in front of him.
He touches her face softly but moves his hand back at the next moment.
"I love you Swara, I try hard to get away from this feelings but you made me fall for you, whenever you smiled after my every bad act, I love that smile but whenever you stayed silent, that silent pierce my heart... I started this relationship just for the quench my thirst but now it's impossible to use you again and again... Damn on my inner devil, damn to the hell" he jerked his neck moreover turned his back towards her.
"my time is over now Swara! The devil has come to take my body too and I've lost my soul already... It's time to payback Swara! It's time to payback.."
He feels exhausted and rubs his neck to take a deep breath.
But it's almost impossible him to take a breath, he also feels drowsiness because of a minor effect of the pill on his body.
He comes out on the balcony, the clouds are covered the moon and stars, maybe it would rain after few minutes.
The rain... He always hates the rain, don't know why but rain never impressed him.
Rain.. A symbol of sorrow.
The darkness is scattered around him and his essence seems like the part of this darkness.
His beloved is sleeping peacefully in his room because she never committed any crime but he did many sins but he never realized all those things until... Until Swara told him to left her.
That time he realized that how much she means to him.
That time, he realized that he always used to saying that there's no love, but love of her, finally conquered him.
He gasps and holds his neck to breath out but it goes in vain.
He comes out and check out the draw of him to search inhaler but it wasn't there.
First he thought that he should awake Swara to help him to search the inhaler. But he stops and tries to search the inhaler, he doesn't get success to find it but he finds something else.
For a moment, he gets blank, he looks back of Swara and remind every sin he committed in his past.
He planned everything with perfection, Swara was also included in his plan but the affection and love which he's feeling for her was not in his plan.
In the first time of his life, he proves nothing but a looser. He reminded the person whose business was ruined by him because he insulted him, further he doesn't spare anyone who insults him.
"everyone has to payback of his every action," that man said to him when Sanskar smiled proudly to ruin him..
"maybe I lived to ruin many others life, Swara! But this is only for you, every person is selfish in this world, I'm also selfish, I can neither give you happiness nor leave you... So it's better to meet the final intimacy of mine... It's better to live in this darkness, I should fly away in that world which is much darker than it. Offcourse people get what they want and I always want darkness and God filled darkness in my heart"
he tried hard to breath, he wanted to live one side but on the other side, he have to die because there's no happiness in his life.
Darkness comes into the room and starts moaning beside him.
he feels so much pain in his head and slowly slowly, his sight has drowned in darkness.
Sorrow comes to him, puts his head on her lap and starts caressing his hairs.
"take a peaceful sleep"
Yes! After one decade, he's sleeping peacefully.
The rhythm of unstable breathing of Swara, moaning of darkness, crying of night, all are making the room horrible.
**************
Swara is sleeping peacefully when suddenly she feels something pierce her heart inside the depth of her heart again and again.
She rubs her chest in the night and tries to comfort herself but all are gone in vain.
She changes her side and gropes the other side of the bed where Sanskar lays.
For few minutes, she tries to touch Sanskar in the sleep but when she couldn't find him then she opens her eyes.
"where's he?" She thinks to find the empty side of him.
She switches on the lamp and stands up from her place.
She checks out the bathroom but he is not here.
Something is pinching her heart very badly, she just wants to look him safe then she will feel relief.
"maybe he's in balcony, he shouldn't do smocking" she says in consoling style as she wants to say just like "my restlessness is just because he's smoking in balcony"
She steps toward the balcony but before it, her foot tackles with some solid thing.
She finds Sanskar there, there's only lamp's dim light so, at first, glance, she doesn't see the blood and gun.
"why is he laying on the floor?"
She downs to him and shakes his shoulder. "wake up Sanskar, come on the bed.." Suddenly she feels something that Sanskar is not reacting.
"fit?" she thought and got blank at that moment.
She neither scream, nor moan. She only falls on the floor and puts her head on his chest which is now heartless.
The moaning of darkness is increasing in every moment.
**************
Two months later....
She didn't know when Lavanya came in the room next night, inform everyone about the accident of Sanskar.
When the police come to investigate, how his family handled everything. How his bade papa cried for him and how his family repented for leaving him.
When Shanaya was visiting her daily, she was also broken inside but at least, she came almost daily and tried to talk with her.
"He loved you so much" it was her first and the only sentence, she spoke when she visit her.
Ragini started to live with her because she doesn't want to leave this house.
Laksh comes here and takes the signature of her in the important papers.
"Bhabhi," he said.
She looked him with empty eyes. She is wearing a white suit and standing in front of the same window of their room.
"there's no one to take charge of hotels, we're thinking that you should sell them," he said with hesitation. Sanskar's voice comes in his mind "never sell them, these are my dream"
She looked him with pain moreover screeched "how dare you to say like this Laksh? You know very well how much those hotels are importance for him?"
Laksh looks the floor and he is also shedding tears "I know Bhabhi! We don't have the experience to manage hotels, in last two months, value of its shares is decreasing also... We're just worry about your future" he says in moist voice.
"I'll manage it.." Suddenly she has decided.
"huh?"
"let her do it Laksh.." The voice comes from the entrance of the room where Shanaya is standing.
She leaves the caring about her appearance, she's just wearing the simple suit which is messy and her hairs are also so much messy like she didn't wash it for many days.
Swara looks her and the pain of her heart is increasing.
"let her do it Laksh .. She's the only one among us who lives her life in a fair way, she has the right to live and for it, she needs the hope... Let her live with that hope.." Shanaya says.
"hope..." Swara just tries to touch the light of hope, "is there any hope still remained in me?" She asks to herself.
Her eyes have started the flood of pain but she doesn't realise this because of her deep thought.
Suddenly she feels dizzy and falls on floor.
When she gets conscious, she finds the doctor checking her up.
Laksh, Ragini and Shanaya are standing around her with a worried face.
"is everything fine doctor?" Shanaya comes to the doctor and asks.
"everything is ok Shanaya" doctor smiles, "Mrs. Maheshwari is three months pregnant"
A small smile comes on the face of everyone but she can't smile.
She just puts her hand on her tummy and says "pregnant.."
Voice of Shanaya echoes in her mind and she slowly murmurs "hope.."
Darkness is abundant her essence because there's only light around here. Yes! She's not alone because of daylight, night is over now.
Swara looks herself in mirror and touches her tummy.
She goes to the room, which is set for someone special.
She goes near the bed and a tear comes out from the corner of her eye.
She holds the hand of Sanskar and whispers in his ear "look Sanskar...! You want to go from me and look, I've gift, a
gift which God gives me just for the sake because I love you and you've to love me Sanskar, yes! You've to love me
because now I'm also mother of your would be child, you've to come back Sanskar... You've to come back"
She puts her head on his chest and tries to listen his heartbeat.
"I'm listening your heartbeat Sanskar, that's a reason I'm also Alive. Just come soon I'm not able to weigh this
responsibility more"
The daylight is glaring them from window and Sanskar listens her voice.
****************
4years later
"Ayan! Get up, today is your first day of school.."
She bows down to 3 years old child who is laying on the blue Spiderman's bed sheet.
"no... I won't get up, until dad will come to wake me up" he says while closing his eyes..
Swara jerks to listen him "you're so stubborn just like your dad, ok I wanna call him"
She gets up from her place and tackles with someone.
The man puts his arms around her waist and kisses on her forehead.
"I'm awakening dad.." Ayan exclaims from his bed.
Swara blushes, while Sanskar smiles proudly "so what junior?" He says while holding her.
"now get up because I don't wanna listen from your teacher that Sanskar Maheshwari's son is not punctual, you're
going my school where everyone knows me still and you will know how much your dad was popular in school days
that they still put my picture in list of the topper students of school"
"but will be soon, it will remove" Ayan jumps from the bed "because my picture will take place of your picture" he
says proudly.
"I would feel honor to beaten by my own son" he bows down and smiles proudly.
"now leave me Sanskar, I've to get him ready for school" Swara shouts in his arm.
"Lavanya will do it" he says.
"I'll do it with myself" Ayan shouts and goes towards the bathroom.
"you're so bad" she complaints after leaving Ayan the room.
"thank you" he looks her with affection.
"for what?" Swara boggles..
"to come in my life and Stay in my life, you made me human being..." He says in emotional voice.
Swara kisses on his chick "don't be so emotional"
He smiles and gets apart from her.
He remains in coma for two years and after two years, she manages everything to make him normal because that
time he realized that there is also god who writes the destiny and he doesn't need to take his place.
She smiles and touched the face of her beloved, though he's her husband and father of her children but she still
considers him, her beloved.
"now we should move because this is first day of our Ayan's school" she reminds him again.
He just nods, she is about to move when he holds her hand and stops her.
"what happened now?" She turns to him.
"I will not make my child like me" the fear is still in his voice because his coma's period was revealed many things to him.
"he would be like you but we won't leave him in any difficulty which laid him to the hell" she smiles calmly.
He smiles because he knows very well that God chooses best life partner for her and it's time to be grateful to him.
